stand and smile

I stepped out of my front door this morning and walked into sunlight.
I was instantly happy.
I love those moments that arrest your soul,
that leave you breathless.
I was hopeless to its attack, it just came on me and I couldn't do anything but stand there, face towards the sun with a smirk spread across my face.

So I just stood, it was all I could do.
Stand and smile.

It was like the morning was awake,
like one of those people who have a brisk shower in the morning, all chipper and ready to wake everyone up, not in an annoying way though,
no - this was the pleasent chipper kind, the sort that makes you smile because there is so much genuine joy.

I am going to go stand and smile in the sun,
its a wonderful habit to get into.

typewritter

I love words.
I love to write.

I once bought an old type writer
just so that I could hear it click when I typed.
Sometimes I would type nonsense,
sometimes I would write poetry,
and sometimes I would try and write letters, but never got far because something in me always says that if a letter is going to be sent to someone you care about, it needs to be hand written.

Clicking away on a type writer
makes me want to write.
It makes me feel like a writer.
I haven't clicked on it in a long time,
in fact it is sitting in my van that has not run for a year...
guess I should go boost that.

definately

I want to be bare foot,
standing on the edge of the ocean
looking at the surf...

with a cup of tea...

small observances

It is amazing how everything changes when you are awake.
What I mean to say is how its all sharper,
colours,
sounds,
laughter and the like.

I think of how being in relationship with Jesus is like being awake.
Life - is life, it isn't something meaningless to move on from,
it is not something to shuffle off, to push past,
but rather something to joyfully take part in,
like an elaborate feast to be tasted and treasured.

Things become sharper as He makes my heart softer,
there is still pain,
still brokenness,
but somehow there is joy,
there is laughter,
there is rest.

I have an enormously aggravating pain my back...
I shall go deal with that.

.weak knees.

Voices dancing together in song,
the ebb and flow of melody
that pulls and releases,
the interplay,
the calling of one deeper.

My knees buckle,
collapse and fall under the
weight of such melody.
The harmony of voices joined together
renders me breathless,
my mouth left hanging agape.

Breathing becomes barely bearable,
and my frame falters flawlessly,
falling...

Why does music affect me so?
Why does it leave me so incapable,
so weak to its tide of melody and rhythm?

no title

The wind is yelling outside,
like its angry at something.
Maybe it stubbed its toe
and is throwing a tantrum.
...I know I would.

I played hockey in my dreams last night.
The sound of blades on ice, the echo of the rink in my ears,
the cool of the air through my equipment as I race down the ice.
*sigh*
Let me tell you how happy I was this morning
waking up with that wonderful memory in my mind.

Spring looks to be having a hard time coming as of late.
Winter - realizing that its time is almost all but gone- is hangin' on with a fierce grip,
refusing to let up its hold.

I am thankful to say that I have begun the mending process.
I don't remember when I was last sick for this long.
It really took me out - stopped me from doing everything.
But, classes and responsibilities all begin again on monday...
35 days folks....
I graduate in 35 days (Lord willing...)

I feel like I am cheating the angry wind of its anger,
sitting inside this place, watching it howl and blow outside.
I feel sorry for the trees,
they are the ones who have to put up with Mr. Angry Wind,
tossing them about, throwing his little tantrum.

Then again maybe they enjoy it,
its the only bit of exercise they get.

jumble of words

What do you say when there are no words?
How do you speak when there is no sound?

whispers...hints....
a gentle yet persistant mist seaps into this little bay of mine.
I thought of sailing today,
I thought of exploring that vast ocean before me.

A fog......a haze.....
thick as if its something tangible,
like its something to be grasped.
Standing on this dock peering into the mist I hear the call...
"come sail today anyway..."
.................................................smiling as I sail away....
into this mist that blankets me.

I would post...

but I am really sick.
*argh*
anyway....
I will post upon my recovery.
Until later friends.

.musings.

I am overwhelmed,
challenged,
stirred.
I feel the call to depth, maturity, intimacy with my Maker.
I feel the desperate hunger to be on my knees,
to know that deep rest that is only found in His presence.
I feel the tension of my flesh and the Spirit within me...
I hear the cry of dissatisfaction risin' within me,
of anger at all the holds me back...

So what can I do?
I can pray, I can worship my Creator.
That is my focus, that is my only goal.
I will seek his face,
I will not let up until I am gazing in his eyes.
And I will trust that He will continue to lay out the path before me and guide me on it.

they have all left....

the Sr. Higher's have left the campus.
It is always such a strange change,
from packed and noisey to quiet and seemingly empty.

It is clean up today, all the decorations are getting put back into the rooms they stay in until next year. The lounge - which for about a week - was vibrant with colour, now has returned to its more professional look of a college lounge. It is always such a weird switch, like one extreme to the next.

I am always amazed at how fast the weekend goes.
I mean right near the start, I was so exhuasted and was like "its ONLY friday?!"
but then on sunday i'm like "What!? They are leaving today!?"
waaaaay to many emotions in such a short period of time....hahaha.

anyway...things return to normal around here for a few days..and then we are off for reading break....its all come so fast.
back to clean up...ciao folks.

*ahem*

It
is
March
First....

Did you hear?
Can you believe it?

oivay...