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Friday, May 05, 2006

Excellent movie

hola
excellent movie
I want to watch it again - right now.
I mean...its ....well....its just good.
very very good.

Its day four, about to switch into day five, of Raeh in cowtown.
I start this TESOL course this weekend.
I am excited and nervous all at once.
It feels like an enormous opportunity of such grand proportions, something that could set off chain reactions throughout the rest of my life. And yet it could also just be seasonal, its purpose completed faster than I can blink. Regardless, I feel God's hand in it, and being aware of his moving and working is such a blessing, but creates ripples of anticipation, expectation, and nervousness.

Its the unknown element to all of this that is making me nervous. Like the rest of mankind I have this incredible desire to be in control, to know what's coming, to know how to put the next foot infront of the other. Serving the Lord is was causes friction with this desire of mine, because it is a constant laying down of control, of admitting that I WON'T know what is going to happen next, but I rest in the knowledge that God does know and He is the one guiding my steps.
It is getting used to mystery, the unknown, the questions without answers.

I sit in this place, recognizing my nervousness, my excitement, my anticipation for what is coming....and I realize that there is a rest undergirding all of it. There is something that makes me just be still....and I am so thankful for that. I know I trust the Lord, his work, his timing that makes no sense to me but ends up being more perfect than I could have imagined, and that is why my anticipation is greater than my nervousness....because I know he is doing a great work, not only in me, but in those around me.
That is exciting.