amazing evenings

The evenings this past week have been absolutley incredable. Yesterday was really quite windy and - well - that was kind of annoying. But once the sun set - oh my - gorgeous night!

I hold a love/hate relationship with evenings like that. I love them because I love being outside. I love going for walks and being in the air. I hate them because they stir everything inside of me until I nearly burst. All my dreams, passions, fears, insecurities and randomness float to the surface and just bob about frequently bumping against each other.

It is hard to catch them when they are bobbing like that. As soon as you get close the ripples of your nearness push them away. It - lately - has been come this giant game of hide and seek in my mind. Everything is hiding from me, just barely alluding my grip.

I don't know what it is about this place - maybe it is the people - or then again maybe it is just God stirring stuff. This happens everytime I leave Eston. I wonder why?

Things get so much clearer once I am not in Eston. Lethargy disapears, apathy disapears, I am passionate again over things that were dormant. What's with that? I love that place, those people...how am I supposed to live in the midst of it? How do I fight those things that so silently and transparently grab a hold of my soul and suck the life from it?

Ever write a blog intending it to be one way and it becoming it's own thing?
yah,
just happened.