Captivated

Anything related to hospitals all carry the same scent.
The sanitized, rubber glove, needles-everywhere sort of scent.
Sitting in the awkward trying-to-be-comfortable chairs I started to recall the different occasions that I have been in a hospital setting. The time I got pushed off a snow hill in elementary school and needed crutches, when my finger got kicked and fractured, going with a friend who needed nose surgery and holding the bucket and being a leaning post as she tried to recover from the anesthesia after the surgery...this is not the list in its entirety but only some glances. They seemed seared into my memory, the smell, the look, the feel of the cheap bed sheets, the look of the nurses fluttering from one places to another.

Realizing that I did not want to be caught up in these memories (I really can hardly handle being in hospitals) I started looking for distractions. Even the thought and memory of what hospitals smelt like was starting to make me nauseous.
Thankfully, a table blanketed with magazines of every size and shape were provided for my leisure. I grabbed the first one I always grab when I am in places like that...the home decorating ones.

I think I have wanted to build my own house since I was really little. I remember always being fascinated with design, architecture, how things are laid out etc. There was this one photo in this magazine that caught my eye as I scanned the decorating ideas and tips that are "hot" and "fashionable" right now.

It caught my eye because not only am I passionate about home design but I am fascinated and long to be more than an amateur at the culinary arts. So kitchen lay outs and designs always catch my eye. This one particular photo was of a kitchen, delightfully laid out, lots of light, wonderfully simple, yet not overly "sanitized" looking. It looked "lived in" if you know what I mean, I like something that looks like and is able to be lived in.

Anyway...what I absolutely loved was that on two of the walls in this kitchen were floor to ceiling bookshelves, making up the wall. The den (or whatever room you could barely see in the picture had that wonderfully warm library look to it) looked like it literally poured into the kitchen, a seamless flow from one room to the other. The books in the kitchen were obviously various cook books and such...but I was absolutely captivated by the idea.

Books speak such warmth and comfort to me, I spend many hours in the library here at college, just sitting amoungst the books (This love of books and literature must be something I picked up from my family). The idea of blending the two feels together just connected with something in me. I must have stared at it for quite awhile, because I was shocked out of my thoughts at the calling of my name...I wanted to steal the magazine (I didn't and am now sad I didn't *smile*) but the image feels like it has slide down into my heart.....if that is even possible....

who?what?where?when?how?

Prep weekend went unbelievably well.
Things that normally take at least a few more days to finish, were all accomplished in the three solid days we had to prepare. So amazing.

In the midst of having the decorations pretty much up and nearly complete,
almost all of yesterday I kept forgetting that Encounter is this weekend.
It was like a flock of birds dive bombing my head...
"Encounter is this weekend! What the hee haw!"

then of course my next thought was,
"duhhh Raeh, you just spent three days helping with decorations..."

*sighs*...
Maybe it is so hard to believe that Encounter is on our doorstep because it is such a landmarker of time in second semester. I mean, Encounter and then immediately (almost) is reading break where I get to go to WPG! and then all of a sudden its grad....
oh man.....
too fast....
things are definately moving too fast.

....my prayer

Breathe on me, breath of God,
fill me with life anew,
that I may love what Thou doest love
and do what Thou wouldst do.

Breathe on me, breath of God,
until my heart is pure,
until with Thee I will one will,
to do and to endure.

Breathe on me, breath of God,
blend all my soul with Thine,
until this earthly part of me
glows with Thy fire divine.

Breathe on me, breath of God,
so shall I never die,
but live with Thee the perfect life
of Thine eternity.

Prep Wkd

Walking into the lounge today was like walking into a wall. A solid wall. I was over powered by the scent of paint and vinyl. The cafeteria was no better because it is the main "painting" room. Large vinyl panels sprawled out all over the floor, paint brushes and garbage bags en mass, people wandering every which way with paint all over them. Yes that is right folks, Encounter Prep Wkd has begun.

Its a frightfully stressful and marvelous time this prep week before Encounter. So much that needs to be accomplished, so many details to put into place, and even though we are often doing things up until the students arrive, by the Grace of God is all gets done. Most of the college is transformed and it is quite a feeling to walk around amoungst the Sr. Higher's and see everything accomplished.



It is great watching everyone work and put things together, to see all of the little tasks that need to get done slowly come together. Its fun to take breaks and walk around, watching people work so hard....

Tonight I am off to watch "Doom" - have been meaning to see it for sometime now. I am watching it with a group of girlfriends who all appreciate those types of movies...shall be a wonderful and amazing time! Until later friends...take care.

Quote I heard on a commercial today:
"30 minutes a day will detatch that couch from your derriere"


In more sad news for the day,
Men's canadain olympic hockey lost to Russia 2-0...
Nice try guys...
*sniff*

I can't get enough of John Donne

Salute the last and everlasting day,
Joy at th' uprising of this Sun, and Son,
Ye whose true tears, or tribulation
Have purely wash'd, or burnt your drossy clay.
Behold, the Highest, parting hence away,
Lightens the dark clouds, which He treads upon ;
Nor doth He by ascending show alone,
But first He, and He first enters the way.
O strong Ram, which hast batter'd heaven for me !
Mild Lamb, which with Thy Blood hast mark'd the path !

Bright Torch, which shinest, that I the way may see !
O, with Thy own Blood quench Thy own just wrath ;
And if Thy Holy Spirit my Muse did raise,
Deign at my hands this crown of prayer and praise
[John Donne, La Corona, Acension]

Yeah Canada!!

Go Canada!

The Olympic Womens hockey team - just moments ago - beat Sweden in the gold medal game with a final score of 4-1.

Hillariously enough they also out shot them with shots on net at about 35 for Canada and a mere 7 for Sweden. Better luck in 2010 Sweden.

I went to grab a cola and as I was on my way back stumbled across the game.

Delirously happy I was able to watch it. The whole time however all I could mutter in my head was "Nice shot" and "Good greif I miss playing hockey"

On the wonderful flip side of my lamenting the fact that I have not been on a hockey team for AGES is the wonderful event at FGBC called NO STAR hockey.

That's right, tis a night where all those wonderful students who do not play on Storm Hockey can find a pair of skates, a stick and helmut, and hit the ice (quite literally I am afraid).

Its a blast of a night and there is enormous fun to be had....I am looking forward to playing some hockey tonight.....but until then, I really need to return to work.

welcome to saskatchewan

It is -35 outside with a wind that makes it much colder.
This is typical winter weather for this area,
but like so many other places we have also been having
exceptionally warm weather for the season.

This - in effect - has made us wimps.

I will fess up to the fact,
I confess....
this is much wrongness for me,
this cold I refer to.

My skin that is exposed to the cold
begins the freezing process in a matter of moments.
My poor nose, ears, finger tips...*sigh*.
I cannot wait for the day when I can reside in a hot, humid location.

Until then,
Its lots of tea
and fire places.

beautiful

sun spot
Originally uploaded by Raeh.

At St. Michael's this past weekend it was so wonderfully quiet. It was great knowing that I didn't have to watch the clock, or rush to be somewhere, but that I could just stop to breathe ya know?

Soon however I realized that no where in this place was a good sun spot. At times on this blog I have commented on my love of sun spots.

So I am walking up the hallway towards my room lamenting the fact that I hadn't been able to find a good sun spot when I open the door to my room and see the sun beaming gloriously through the windom directly onto the chair [see photo].

It was like this wonderful gift, so I took the photo and proceeded to sprawl in the chair under the warmth of the sun. The great thing is that I don't even know how long i was there.

I swear I am part cat...

St. Michael's Retreat Center

I had the priviledge of spending this last weekend at a Franciscan Retreat Center that is supported by Catholic, Luthern, and Anglican.
It was a really nice time to just get away.
It was quiet, and we had the freedom to spend our days how we wished.
I was very thankful for that.
We met for meals but that was the only structure that was there.
Here are some photo's.



The above picture is a shot of inside the chapel. It was a circle shaped room, really basic, really soft and welcoming. The walls are cinder block with highlights of just brick. It was a really neat layout...I loved it.



This picture below is of the aisle that surrounded the chapel, also circular. That entrance way in the left of the picture is the main entrance to the chapel. This was where I spent most of the weekend, sitting in this aisle with the sunlight coming in those top windows...it was great.








This picture is of a wooden statue of St. Francis (it was a franciscan order) that was in the entrance way to the whole building...the sun was coming in through the glass doors, it made wood so warm and rich in colour...

*sniff,sniff*

I am sad to report that
Napoleon the Third has died.

RIP good buddy.

On an upside though,
I have an extension on my Art History Paper.
Woot.
And U2 definately makes a morning wonderful.

Peculiar

Before I make a deliriously gleeful return,
*note the sarcasim*
to the copious amounts of homework I have,
I need to get something off my chest,
well in actuality - obviously - it is my mind.

It has been something that I have been observing for a good length of time now.
At first I thought,
"well that's wonderfully quirky"
but now I just stare with a blank look on my face.

I first noticed it with Yuki the Second.
I
- enjoying the random moments of silence in my house -
would suddenly hear the sound of rocks against glass.
Now obviously this seriously caught my attention.

I would wander in the general direction of the sound
and see Yuki the Second (my turquoise fish for those who are unaware)
trying to place himself under the rocks in his bowl.

I stood there with a smirk thinking
"i've never seen a fish do that before"
and watched him frequently since then doing the same thing.

I thought that this was where it was all going to end,
but no.
Napoleon the Third apparently "caught the bug" as well.
It was about a week ago when I really started to notice.
Walking over to their homes, checking to make sure all was well.
I found Napoleon the Third was doing the same thing Yuki did,
the trying to place himself under the rocks in his bowl thing.

At first I was all like "well at least I am happy that I have quirky fish"
Then a few days ago I am passing their bowls and I can't see them.
Slight panic sets in *how do fish just disappear*
They are no where to be found...

Following logically reasoned thought,
the first thing to cross my mind was,
"JACK EDWARD PINTER!" (my cat)

but then I looked harder.

Here Yuki the Second and Napoleon the Third
have completely buried themselves under the rocks.
Totally under the rocks.
Can you picture it?

Before you would see a random fin sticking out,
like they had been caught in a freak rock slide or something.
but now they are completely hidden.

I am not sure what to make of this.
Did i just happen to find two fish with the same quirky personality trait?
odd.

They appear normal and healthy,
they don't seem "sick",
except that they like to be buried under rocks.

It is delightfully strange to say the least...

breathless

how is it that so few words can contain such weight?
how is it that they can enter my depths undetected?
Its like a journey, this reading of prose;
following each word,
following thought after seemless thought,
trying to hear the meaning that is meant.

All this until like a sudden glorious sunrise,
the last few words are read and it all falls into place.
The meaning and depth suddenly become as lead and fall with such force in ones soul that the only response possible - is a breathless one, and I am left in a stunned weazy silence.

Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
as yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
but is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor even chaste, except you ravish me.

Holy Sonnet XIV:

Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God

(John Donne)

Mr Francis left this as a comment on a friends blog and ever since I read it I have been pouring over it.
It captures something so perfectly,
a feeling, a cry of my heart...
i'm not sure.
Either way,
reading this stirs me to write again,
I miss writing.

Decision Making

Many of you who frequent this blog may have known that I was considering doing a short term missions trip with Frontiers Ministries this summer.
In the last handful of days I really felt the LORD putting the breaks on it if you will and I really felt that i wasn't supposed to pursue this trip - who knows why.
So today I made the decision, I am officially not travelling with Frontiers this summer.

I am excited about not going and looking forward to not having to get that whole thing rolling.
I am excited and encouraged that I heard God speak, that I am at the end of a season and at the begining of another one and I am curious and anticipating what is coming next, ya know!

I really want to partner with God and what he is doing here at this college in these last three months I am here. He is doing so much and that is so encouraging and exciting!
I really wonder what is next, what my next step is supposed to be.
oh good grief, i need to write up my resume...

My Man

Jack01, originally uploaded by Raeh.

This is the man who has won a large peice of my heart. I melt when he fixes his attention on me, or jumps up on my lap and cuddles me.

I am in crazy reflective mode lately - obviously because I am done here in three months, but part of being done is that I will not be with Jack any longer...along with all my friends it will be hard to leave him.

I slipped on ice last night after soccer practice...now I am limping...*sigh*...but I got muffins this morning *horray!*

Welcome to February First

yup,
it is definitely February.
and that is definitely a strange thing.
There is definitely only three months left in my degree program,
and I am definitely getting emotional about that.
definitely don't have any more words,
happy February first folks.